Category Archives: Christian Family

Peace be with you

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Dear all,

Greetings in the name of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. Let us praise our Lord and forget not all His benefits. His grace is new every day.

Word: Jesus appears to Thomas – John 20: 26-29 – A week later his disciples were in the house again, and Thomas was with them. Though the doors were locked, Jesus came and stood among them and said, “Peace be with you!” Then he said to Thomas, “Put your finger here; see my hands. Reach out your hand and put it into my side. Stop doubting and believe.” Thomas said to him, “My Lord and my God!” Then Jesus told him, “Because you have seen me, you have believed; blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed.”

Thought: In the hands of Jesus there is certainty! There is providence! There is majesty! The hands of Jesus are saving hands. The Bible describes every type of sin but declares that the Lord delivers from them all. His saving hands are secure hands. Of all who come to Him He said, “I will give them eternal life, and they shall never perish, neither shall any man pluck them out of my hand”. The hands of Jesus are able to hold secure for time and eternity all that we commit to Him. – Adapted from Streams in the desert, Mrs. Charles Cowman, Forty-first printing, September 1982.

Be strong and glad!

Stand firm in Christ

The Journey Team

thechapelbr.com/adult/counseling

https://thejourneyinchrist.wordpress.com/

Lord Jesus Christ – a guiding light, a constant protection, an unfailing Friend and Counselor an almighty Savior

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Dear all,

We greet you in the most precious and glorious name of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. We wish you all a Happy and a Blessed New Year 2013.

Word:

Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus. Philippians 3:13-14 (NIV)

Thought:

Lord Jesus Christ – a guiding light, a constant protection, an unfailing Friend and Counselor an almighty Savior.

Read or Listen to the Bible this year!

http://www.thechapelbr.com/resources/bible-reading-plan/

Stand firm in Christ

The Journey Team

thechapelbr.com/adult/counseling

Read our previous messages and introduce to your friends also

https://thejourneyinchrist.wordpress.com/

How about our priorities ?

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Dear all,

Be strong in the Lord and His mighty power. Ephesians 6: 10

Word:

Luke 10:40-42 (NIV)

But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, “Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!” “Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, but few things are needed—or indeed only one. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.”

Thought:

Mary and Martha both loved Jesus. On this occasion they were both serving Him. Lord Jesus Christ, asked Martha to set her priorities. How about our priorities? There is a proper time to listen to Jesus and obey Him and a proper time to work for Him.

Stand firm in Christ

The Journey Team

For

Intl Sun Class

thechapelbr.com/adult/counseling

Living by the Power

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Dear all,

Greetings in the mighty name of our Lord and savior Jesus Christ.

 Word: “Living by the Power”

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness,gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.

As iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend. Proverbs 27: 17

Thought:

To give more fruits in our daily life (Qualities of Christian Character) we must know Jesus, love Jesus, remember Jesus, and imitate Jesus. As a result we will love God and our neighbors.

Stand firm in Christ

The Journey Team

thechapelbr.com/adult/counseling

https://thejourneyinchrist.wordpress.com/

What are God’s Principles for Communication ?

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The Heart of Marriage

Dennis & Jill Eenigenburg

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9. What are God’s Principles for Communication?

I. Communication functions best in a positive atmosphere. Ephesians 5:33

A. When a husband rightly loves his wife he creates a positive atmosphere for communication.

B. When a wife is rightly respecting her husband she creates a positive atmosphere for communication.

It has been said that men and women breathe different types of oxygen. The wife is sustained by the oxygen of her husband’s love. Her husband is sustained by the oxygen of his wife’s respect. When these elements are lacking, great stress is felt in the marriage as each longs for that which nurtures them emotionally.

II. Communication functions best with the right message and the right methods. Ephesians 4:29

A. It is never appropriate to use words that are crude or hurtful.

B. It is always appropriate to carefully evaluate the need of the moment.

C. It is always appropriate to treat one another with grace.

D. It is always appropriate to speak the truth.

E. It is always appropriate to speak in love.

Before we begin the process toward a more godly style of communication we need to pull out the darts we have inflicted on each other over the years. Sometimes we also add poison to our verbal attacks. We say the words, “always” or “never.” We call each other derogatory names.

Each of us needs to ask our spouse from time to time if they have wounds that need to be resolved. We remove the painful darts when we ask forgiveness and stop repeating the offense. Once the dart is removed the healing can begin.

To prevent future verbal injury, we must speak the truth in love.

III. Communication works best with a Spirit-controlled tongue. (Speaking)

A. The flesh-controlled tongue is out of control James 1:26, 3:6, 3:8

B. The Spirit-controlled tongue is under God’s control. James 3:2, 3:10-11, 1:25

C. The Spirit-controlled tongue expresses itself with wisdom.

1. The Spirit-controlled tongue uses words wisely Colossians 3:16-17

2. The Spirit-controlled tongue measures timing wisely. Proverbs 15:23

3. The Spirit-controlled tongue uses silence wisely. Proverbs 10:19

4. The Spirit-controlled tongue always responds to insults wisely. 1 Peter 3:9

5. The Spirit-controlled tongue is used wisely as an instrument of praise to God. Colossians 3:16-17

6. The Spirit-controlled tongue wisely communicates love. Song of Solomon 4:10

Heart of Marriage Communication Tips:

Experts in communications say that a large percentage of communication is non-verbal. If you wish to communicate effectively consider the following non-verbal communication tips:

• Make sure the tone and volume of you voice is appropriate and pleasant.

• Make sure your body language in not threatening but relaxed.

• If possible make eye contact with your spouse.

• Chose a time and place that is appropriate for the topic discussed.

IV. Communication works best with Spirit-controlled ears. (Listening)

A. The flesh-controlled ears do not hear well. Hebrews 5:11, James 1:22-24

Heart of Marriage Tips:

Negative listening habits to be avoided:

• The habit of pretending to be listening while thinking of other things.

• The habit of interrupting or talking over the other person.

• The habit of refusing to listen to criticism or negative feedback.

• The habit of reacting without seeking to understand the others point of view.

B. Spirit-controlled ears hear well.

1. Spirit-controlled ears are responsive to the Word of God James 1:25

2. Spirit-controlled ears are responsive to one’s spouse. James 1:19

Heart of Marriage Listening Tips:

• Give your spouse your undivided attention.

• Communicate acceptance with friendly body language.

• Ask questions to make sure you understand what is being said.

• Don’t interrupt the other person.

• Make meaningful responses.

• Make eye contact.

V. Communication works best when we adjust for one another’s differences in communication styles.

Communication styles differ based on the temperaments and personalities of individuals. It is not unusual for people with different communication styles to be attracted to each other and marry. In a general sense, we observe some people to be task oriented and others people oriented. Some people live life at a fast pace and some at a slow pace. Some people find it difficult to express their emotions and some find it difficult to suppress their emotions. Some people are very talkative others are people of few words.

COMMUNICATION STYLES

<———————————————————————————————————–>

Fact-Oriented Emotion Oriented

Few Words Many Words

Closed Open

A. What are counter-productive ways to handle differences of communication styles?

1. Do not ridicule or criticize your spouse’s style of communication.

2. Do not try to force your mate to use your style of communication.

3. Do not react to the other person’s emotions with your facts.

4. Do not react to the other person’s facts with your emotions.

B. What are productive ways to handle differences of communication styles?

1. Affirm the strengths of one another’s communication styles.

2. In love seek to accommodate and adjust to each other’s styles.

3. Respond to emotional expression with an encouraging emotional response.

4. Respond to factual expression with positive factual response.

We need to apply love to our adjustment to each other’s communication styles. Philippians 2:4

How does the spouse of “many words” show love to the spouse of “few words?” Love is shown by intentionally coming to the point more directly and limiting the embellishment of the conversation.

How does the spouse of “few words” show love to the spouse of “many words”? Love is shown by intentionally adding more details to give the other person a fuller description of the setting and feeling related to the issue being presented.

C. How do gender differences affect communications in marriage?

1. Women generally have a high felt need for conversation.

This may not be true in your marriage but it is generally true in a vast majority of marriages. The implication is clear. Women usually have a higher felt need for conversation than do men.

2. Men generally do not have a high felt need for conversation.

“You husbands likewise live with your wives in an understanding way” I Peter 3:7

VI. Communications works best when it promotes transparency.

In the exclusive bond of marriage there exists the potential to enjoy the most transparent and intimate of relationships. The physical oneness in marriage is achieved through the joining of two bodies. Emotional and spiritual oneness is the joining of our souls. In order to experience this oneness we need to be more and more open and transparent in our conversations. Harsh, critical and demeaning conversation undermines trust and closes the heart in self-protection. Loving, kind, encouraging words build trust, and promote ever-increasing openness and oneness.

A. Marital transparency can mirror our transparency with God.

There is in the human heart a desire to be deeply known and still be deeply loved. It is yearning that comes from the ideal experience of the first couple that were fully known and loved by God and fully known and loved by each other.

B. Marital transparency increases oneness with one’s spouse.

1. Spiritual transparency is developed when couples converse with God together.

2. Emotional transparency is developed when couples earn trust and verbally open their hearts to each other.

• Verbal openness includes trusting each other enough to share your opinions.

• Verbal openness includes trusting each other enough to share your feelings.

• Verbal openness includes trusting each other enough to share your dreams and aspirations.

• Verbal openness includes trusting each other enough to share your failures and weaknesses.

Emotional transparency allows us to share our most intimate thoughts and feelings with someone who loves us unconditionally and will rejoice with us when we rejoice and will weep with us when we weep.

WARNING: Emotional transparency requires trust. If either betrays this trust, the door of openness and emotional intimacy will close.

What are some ways emotional transparency could be betrayed?

1)

2)

3)

Take it to Heart

List three strengths in the area of communications you enjoy with your spouse:

1.

2.

3.

List three weaknesses that need improvement in your communication with your spouse.

1.

2.

3.

WHAT ARE THE PRINCIPLES FOR A GRACE FILLED MARRIAGE

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The Heart of Marriage

Dennis & Jill Eenigenburg

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8. WHAT ARE THE PRINCIPLES FOR A GRACE FILLED MARRIAGE?

I. GRACE-FILLED MARRIAGES FOLLOW CHRIST’S EXAMPLE

A. Husbands and wives need to humbly serve each other. Philippians 2:5-8

B. Husbands and wives need to demonstrate sacrificial love. Ephesians 5:2

C. Husbands and wives need to be committed to unity. John 17:22-23

D. Husbands and wives need be willing to suffer without sinning. I Peter 2:19-20

II. GRACE-FILLED MARRIAGES OBEY BIBLICAL EXHORTATIONS

A. Wives are called to influence their husbands through their Godliness. I Peter 3:1-6

• The wife’s godliness is expressed through submission to her husband’s God give headship in the marriage.

• The wife’s godliness is expressed without words.

• The wife’s godliness is expressed with deeds.

B. Husbands are called to influence their wives through their graciousness. I Peter 3:7

• The husband demonstrates graciousness by being a good student of his wife’s needs.

• The husband demonstrates graciousness by being sensitive to her limitations.

• The husband demonstrates graciousness by honoring her as his spiritual sister.

C. Husbands and wives are called to “out grace” each other. I Peter 3:8-9

1. To sum up husbands and wives “let all be harmonious.”

Harmony is not uniformity. Harmony is produced by complimentary differences. Diferent sounds in music are combined in a way to produce harmony. When a husband and wife both “sing from the Divine music of God’s Word,” they produce harmony with their different strengths and weaknesses in marriage.

2. To sum up husbands and wives, “let all be sympathetic.”

Sympathy is being touched by the feeling of another person. To enter into their joy and sorrow produces emotional support and closeness. Romans 12:15

3. To sum up husband and wives, “let all be brotherly.”

Husbands and wives are to exhibit a family love. Family celebrates the oneness we have with a common Father, a common Lord and a common Life. No longer do we speak of yours and mine. We speak of ours.

Our bond is such that all we have is available for the wellbeing of our spouse. We share one another’s burdens and seek to make the others load lighter.

4. To sum up husbands and wives, “let all be kindhearted.”

Unconfessed sin leads to hardheartedness. The Spirit-filled heart is compassionate and sensitive to the needs of one’s spouse. Caring and sharing are expressions of kindheartedness.

5. To sum up husbands and wives, “let all be humble in spirit.”

Humility is a proper estimation of our inability to do anything worthwhile apart from God’s provision and strength. Pride and self-confidence always result in failure. Humility allows us to tolerate the shortcomings of others, as we are aware of our own.

III. GRACE-FILLED MARRIAGES RETURN GOOD FOR BAD I Peter 3:9

A. Grace-filled marriages never return “evil for evil” nor “insult for insult.”

B. Grace-filled marriages always give a blessing in return for evil or insult.

“Blessings” are verbal or concrete acts of kindness.

C. Grace-filled marriages enjoy God’s blessings.

D. Grace-filled marriages pass on God’s blessings to each other and others. I Peter 3:10-12

Those who wish to “love life” live the “grace-filled” life by:

• Refusing to speak evil against others

• Turning from evil deed to do good

• Seeking peace with others

Those who live the grace-filled life are rewarded by God.

• God’s eyes are on you

• God’s ears hear you.

GRACE MEANS TREATING EACH OTHER BETTER THAN WE DESERVE

TAKE IT TO HEART

1. In what ways does your marriage fall short of a “grace-based” marriage?

2. In what ways does your marriage reflect a “grace-based” marriage?

3. How do you treat your spouse?

Rate your treatment of your spouse:

1= Almost Never, 2 = Sometimes, 3 = Usually, 4 = Almost Always

___ Harmonious

___ Sympathetic

___ Brotherly

___ Kindhearted

___ Humble in spirit

3. How can you return a blessing the next time you feel hurt or disappointed with your spouse?

WHAT ARE GOD’S PRINCIPLES FOR RESOLVING CONFLICT? Week – 7

The Heart of Marriage

Dennis & Jill Eenigenburg

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7. WHAT ARE GOD’S PRINCIPLES FOR RESOLVING CONFLICT?

Introduction

The premise of this study on marriage is that we are to paint a portrait of the relationship of Christ and His Bride the Church. The Bible describes sinful mankind and a Holy God in conflict. Because God is holy he could not ignore the punishment our sin deserved. Because God loves us He made a just way for our sins to be forgiven. This forgiveness is made available through the substitutionary death of the sinless Son of God Jesus Christ. When sinners place their faith in Christ’s death in their place they are forgiven and the conflict with God is removed.

Every married couple experiences conflict on various levels. The issue is not avoiding all conflict. The issue is following God’s example and exhortations for resolving conflict. Conflict can result in separation or in resolution, depending on how we choose to respond. Let us begin by considering the gift of peace from the perfect Peacemaker.

I. RESOLVING CONFLICT IS POSSIBLE THROUGH GOD’S GIFT OF PEACE TO US.

God’s peace expresses itself in three dimensions.

A. We have been given the gift of peace with God. Romans 5:1-2

B. We have been given the gift of peace with others. Ephesians 4:2-3

We are called to “preserve the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.” This tells us that the Spirit has already established unity in the relationships of believers.

In the marriage of two believers there is a spiritual unity established by the Holy Spirit based on spiritual realities. As we focus on the oneness we have in Christ we promote oneness in the marriage relationship. When we take our eyes off these spiritual realities, we disrupt unity.

C. We have been given the gift of peace with ourselves. John 14:27

If as believers we have been given the gift of peace and unity why do we still experience conflict in marriage and other relationships? It is helpful to consider the various sources of conflict because the source often dictates the solution.

II. RESOLVING CONFLICT REQUIRES AN HONEST CONSIDERATION OF THE SOURCES OF CONFLICT.

A. Sometimes marriage conflict comes from inappropriate desires.

1. The sources of inappropriate desires are the world, the flesh and the devil. James 4:1-4

James describes the conflict believers have with the world, the flesh and devil. Even though we have been set free from bondage to these influences we still experience temptation. Temptation appeals to the desires of the flesh in conflict with the desires of the Holy Spirit. In this passage we see a variety of desires that put us in conflict with God and in conflict with others.

• Lust is the desire for pleasures that are immoral.

The result of blocked lust is sometimes the destruction of other.

• Envy is the inappropriate desire for the position or possessions of others.

The result of blocked envy is fighting and quarrelling.

• Friendship with the world is expressed by living in its godless ways.

The result of worldly living is hostility with God.

2. The solution to inappropriate desires is repentance. James 4:7-10

• Repentance requires submission to God.

• Repentance requires resisting the devil

• Repentance results in drawing near to God and restoring fellowship.

• Repentance requires putting aside evil thoughts and deeds.

• Repentance includes a grieving over one’s sins.

• Repentance restores the humility that results in God blessing one’s life.

B. Sometimes conflict in marriage comes from natural differences.

1. Couples experience conflict based on different temperaments.

It may be helpful to distinguish between temperament, character and personality.

•

Temperament is a combination of inborn traits that affect our behavior subconsciously.

•

Character is one’s natural temperament modified by childhood training, education, spiritual convictions and beliefs.

•

Personality is an outward expression of ourselves, which may or may not reflect our character. Personality can be façade or a genuine expression of our inner self.

THE FOUR BASIC TEMPERMANTS THEORY

400 years before Christ, Hippocrates, a brilliant Greek physician and philosopher proposed four different types of temperament. While no person is a single-temperament type, each person usually has one type that is predominant over the others.

It may be helpful to read the following descriptions and identify your own dominant temperament and that of your spouse. Place an ”

I” in the space that best describes your temperament and an “S” on the line of the best description of your spouse.

___

Sanguine – The Sanguine are warm, buoyant, lively, receptive, spontaneous and out-going. He never lacks for friends. Feelings rather than reflective thought influence his decisions. He enjoys people and avoids solitude. He has a tendency to speak before he thinks.

___

Choleric – The Choleric temperament is described by the following words: hot, quick, active, practical, strong-willed, self-sufficient, decisive and opinionated. Cholerics are often leaders who are determined, purposeful and willing to stand against the opinion of others for what they believe is right. His least developed area is his emotions. He is often insensitive to the feelings of others because he is task, not relationship oriented.

___

Melancholic – The Melancholic temperament is described in the following words: analytical, self-sacrificing, gifted, perfectionist, sensitive and emotional. Melancholics are often gifted in the arts. A dependable friend but does not push himself on others. His analytical ability causes him to see the dangers and obstacles in any project he is part of planning. He has a strong desire to be loved by others. By nature he is an introvert. He is prone to emotional swings from ecstasy to gloom. He places high value on self-sacrifice.

___

Phlegmatic – The phlegmatic temperament is slow, calm, easy going, well balanced and happy. He enjoys life and has a dry sense of humor. He is rarely angry or depressed. He is steady and often tries to avoid direct involvement. He does not lack for friends because he enjoys people. He is sympathetic, but hides his true feelings. He does not seek leadership but when pressed to do it he proves capable. He tends to be a peacemaker.

2. Couples experience conflict based on different priorities and pace.

Priority refers to what we value.

___ I am task oriented if I value accomplishing a task over nurturing or establishing relationships.

___ I am people oriented if I value nurturing or establishing relationships over accomplishing tasks.

Pace refers to the speed or lack of speed generated by our temperaments.

___ I am a fast-paced person compared to most other people I know.

___ I am a slow-paced person compared to most other people I know.

TAKE IT TO HEART

1. What are some examples of how having different temperaments in marriage can lead to conflicts?

2. What are some examples of how having different priorities in marriage can lead to conflicts?

3. What are some examples of how having different pace in marriage can lead to conflicts?

4. How have these differences led to conflicts in your marriage?

3. Suggestions for resolving conflicts arising from temperament differences include:

 Allowing God to transform your temperament weakness through the fruit of the Holy Spirit. Galatians 5:22-23

 Accepting each other’s differences and learning from each other’s strengths.

C. Sometimes conflict in marriage comes from differences of opinion.

1. Differences of opinion are common because each person is unique.

Many things influence our opinions and preferences. We reflect on previous experiences, the examples of our parents, the way we were raised. Our opinions will also be impacted by one’s personality, preferences and gender differences.

2. Suggestions for resolving differences of opinion include:

•Let each person express his or her point of view without interruption or criticism.

•Ask each other questions for clarification.

•Determine the main point of disagreement.

•Seek for any Biblical principles for or against the views presented.

•Commit to pray for a resolution and unity.

•If an impasse still exists and decision must be made and the issue the husband as leader should be granted that responsibility. (the wife is not obligated to do anything immoral or illegal under her husbands headship)

But I want you to understand that Christ is the head of every man, and the man is the head of a woman, and God is the head of Christ. I Corinthians 11:3

III. CONFLICT RESOLUTION IN MARRIAGE SOMETIMES REQUIRES LOVING CONFRONTATION AND FORGIVENESS.

When a married couple has a difference of opinion that is serious enough to lead to conflict what should they do to resolve the issue?

A. Some couples react to conflict with “fight responses” (DOMINATION) such as:

•Outbursts of anger and loss of self-control.

•Abusive language

•Threats

•Physical assault

The “fight responses” are always inappropriate ways for believers to treat one another. If this is a pattern in your marriage you need to confess your sin before God and ask your mate for your forgiveness. Repentance is also needed. To repent is to change course or manner of behavior.

B. Some couples react to conflict with a “flight response” (ISOLATION) such as:

•Denial and pretending a problem does not exist

•Silence

•Withdrawing emotionally or physically from one’s mate.

•Separation

•Divorce

When a person is in physical danger, the “flight response” is an appropriate way to seek self-protection. In other kinds of conflict the “flight responses” are counter-productive. They deny or delay the need for resolution. They lead to resentment and isolation.

C. Some couples react to conflict with a “forgiving response” (RESOLUTION) which includes:

1. Caring confrontation:

Brethren, even if anyone is caught in any trespass, you who are spiritual, restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness; each one looking to yourself, so that you too will not be tempted. Galatians 6:1

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“If anyone is caught in any transgression.” (INITIATIVE) — A transgression can be a moral transgression or a relational transgression. It is appropriate to approach someone we know and love if their behavior is offensive to God or to others. In marriage, it is an expression of love to confront wrongs committed by our spouse.

➢

 

“you who are spiritual” — In church relationships the mature believers initiate confrontation. In marriage the caring spouse has that role. It is imperative that one be spiritually up to the task. Before confronting one’s spouse take time to examine your own heart. Be honest about your motivation.

➢

 

“restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness” (AFFIRMATION) — The goal of confrontation is the restoration of the relationship. It is to resolve the offenses and return to marital oneness. Gentleness needs to be conveyed in one’s tone of voice and one’s choice of words.

➢

 

“keep watch over yourself, lest you too be tempted.” (HUMILITY) — One temptation we need to conquer is the temptation of pride or arrogance. Just because we do not have the same weakness or sin of the person confronted is no basis for pride. We each have our own shortcomings and thus should always be humble when confronting one another.

2. Seeking Forgiveness

Therefore if you are presenting your offering at the altar, and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your offering there before the altar and go; first be reconciled to your brother, and then come and present your offering. Matthew 5:23-24

TAKE IT TO HEART TIPS

When seeking forgiveness always:

1. Confess your offense to God first.

2. Admit your wrong without blaming the other person.

3. State clearly the offense you are confessing.

4. State steps you have taken to avoid this offense in the future.

5. Ask for forgiveness.

6. Offer to pray for the offended person if they so desire.

2. Granting Forgiveness

Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you. Ephesians 4:32

TAKE IT TO HEART TIPS

When granting forgiveness always:

•Thank God for His generous forgiveness of your offenses.

•Acknowledge the hurt and pain the offense has caused.

•State the offense you are forgiving.

•Assure the offender of your own shortcomings.

•Affirm your desire to rebuild the damaged relationship.

•Pray daily for the offender and for restoration in the relationship.

Heart of Marriage – GOD’S PATTERN FOR HUSBANDS – Week 5

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The Heart of Marriage

Dennis & Jill Eenigenburg

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5. WHAT IS GOD’S PATTERN FOR HUSBANDS?

I. IN GOD’S PATTERN THE HUSBAND IS TO FIRST LOVE JESUS CHRIST.

Jesus makes it clear that the way we express love for him is by obeying His Word. Obedience is the ultimate expression of worship because by it we make it clear that we trust Him and count Him worthy to be Lord over our lives. To be a good leader in the home a husband must first be a good follower of Christ. What does the Word say to men who would be godly husbands? Paul writes: Be on the alert, stand firm in the faith, act like men, be strong, let everything you do be done in love. I Corinthians 16:13-14

A. In obedience to Christ, husbands protect their families from evil. “be on the alert”

The picture here is one of a man standing guard over his family as a soldier might stand guard duty for his fellow troops. Husbands are caring for their families in a hostile world. The Evil One is prowling like a lion seeking to destroy God’s children and godly families. So husbands are to stand between the evil world and their wives and children to observe and warn and when necessary do warfare against the spiritual enemies.

What enemies threaten your family?

1.

2.

3.

B. In obedience to Christ, husbands model the teachings of the Word. “stand firm in the faith”

“The faith,” in this context refers to body of truth including the Gospel and the teachings of Scriptures. To “stand firm” refers to an unwavering trust and consistent obedience to Christ. In the military comparison it would describe a soldier under attack who refuses to yield ground to the enemy. Husbands stand not in their own strength but in the power of the Lord. Husbands will be attacked by life’s trial and difficulties. Husbands will be attacked by Satan’s temptations. While no husband is perfect, every husband should aspire to greater and greater consistency in living out the truth before one’s family with confidence in the Lord.

C. In obedience to Christ, husbands act like Godly men. “act like men”

Every culture has its own definition what it means to act like a man. The most important source of information on manhood however, is not from human culture but God’s Word.

Let us consider some descriptions of the Godly man.

1. The man of God feeds on the Word of God.

2. The man of God models His life after the Perfect Man Jesus Christ.

3. The man of God yields to the Holy Spirit’s power.

4. The man of God exhibits the fruit of the Holy Spirit

5. The man of God refuses to act as a child

As males, we go through various stages of life. We go from boyhood to manhood. Some men become husbands. Some husbands become fathers. Some fathers become grandfathers. Some grandfathers become great-grandfathers. In each of these roles there are relationships and roles that need to be faced as a man, not as a boy.

Every day we need to ask the Spirit of God for the power to defeat the “boy” in us. The “boy” is seeking to take control of our speech, thoughts and reasoning. God calls us to be men not just aging boys. A man is different from a boy in that he does not focus on his own desires but makes loving relationships and taking responsibility his priority. Our wives need us to be men. Our children need us to be men. Our churches need us to be men.

D. In obedience to Christ, husbands are strong for their families. “be strong”

As men we often make the mistake of putting trust in our own strengths, gifts and abilities. In other words, some of us are guilty of self-confidence. Some men suffer a lack confidence. They have an attitude of defeat and discouragement. A man’s strength, spiritually, flows from Jesus the True Vine. As branches we remain connected to the Vine as we actively trust and obey. From that relationship we can indeed be “strong.”

E. For the Love of Christ men are great lovers. “let everything you do be done in love.”

The word for “love” here comes from the Greek word, AGAPE. It is the kind of love God showed us by sending Jesus to die for us. It is the kind of love that Jesus says will make all men know we are his disciples. It is the kind of love described in detail in I Corinthians 13. It is the kind of love we are to express to our wives as a portrait of the love of Christ for his church. Every word and deed of the godly man is to be clothed in this kind of love.

When Jesus was asked to state the greatest commandment, He answered with the top two commandments: To love God and to love others as we love ourselves. These are the two most important commandments. One definition of AGAPE is this: “A radical commitment to seek God’s best for others.”

When applied to our love for Jesus Christ it is a “radical commitment to do His will.” If we are to love our wives as God intended we must first love Jesus Christ by obeying His commandments and growing in His likeness.

TAKE IT HOME

Read 1 Timothy 3:1-13. This passage lists the qualities of men who seek to be leaders in the Church. As you read, write on a piece of paper three of the qualities you are consistently exhibiting in your life and three qualities you would like to see grow more consistent in your life. (For example: able to teach, not addicted to wine, but gentle.)

Three qualities from 1 Timothy 3:1-13 I consistently demonstrate:

1.

2.

3.

Three qualities I need to see grow more consistent in my life:

1.

2.

3.

II. In God’s Pattern Husbands are to love their Wives.

A. Husbands are to love their wives as Christ loved the Church. Ephesians 5:25-27

Here we see again the husband is “painting a portrait” of Christ on the “canvas” of his marriage. As others see the way a godly husband treats his wife, they also begin to understand the profound love of Christ for his bride the Church. As the wife experiences this love she is profoundly drawn to her husband’s Lord, the source of this love. As the wife experiences this love she is profoundly drawn to her husband. Her trust in him and respect for him increases with every word and action that makes her the focus of her husband’s affection.

1. A husband’s love requires self-sacrifice.

2. A husband’s love seeks to promote the wife’s spiritual growth.

3. A husband is to love his wife as he loves his own self.

This statement reminds husbands of some important truths. Woman was taken from the man’s rib and is flesh of his flesh. Secondly, in marriage the husband and wife are one flesh. Although the wife is an individual distinct from the husband she is also one with him. So when a man loves his wife he loves an extension of himself. He is nurturing a part of himself as he would nurture his own body. This verse emphasizes the unique closeness that characterizes the marriage relationship. Most people take care of their bodies by feeding them, cleaning them, developing their potential and protecting them.

a. A husband loves his wife as he loves himself by “nurturing” her?

To “nourish” means to help something grow. A husband is to help his wife grow to her full potential in Christ.

He is to help her grow spiritually by:

• Being a good example of a committed disciple of Jesus Christ.

• Spending time with her in the study of God’s Word.

• Praying with her and for her on a daily basis.

• Encouraging her to use her spiritual gift is service to Jesus Christ.

b. A husband loves his wife as he loves himself by “cherishing” her.

To “cherish” means to treat something or someone as valuable.

One principle might be this: You grow to cherish persons in whom you invest. Our wives are valuable because they are created in the image of God and because they are given to us by God to treat as valuable as our life partners. We must take time to invest in them and demonstrate by our words and actions their priceless value.

Consider some things you can do to show how much you value your wife:

• Take time each day to listen to her and communicate with her.

• Show appreciation verbally for who she is and what she does.

• Look for ways to make her burden lighter.

• Be sympathetic to her unique needs as a woman.

• Be a servant leader to her.

• Wash her feet.

• Tell her you love her.

• Help her develop her gifts and abilities.

B. HUSBANDS ARE TO LEAD THEIR WIVES AS CHRIST LEADS THE CHURCH

The Greek word for “head” is KEPHELE. It can refer to a physical head, the headwaters of a river or source of something. Overwhelmingly it is used of the leader or the one who has the responsibility to oversee. This definition is best used here because it is used in contrast to the wife’s call to submit to her husband as the church submits to Christ.

1. The Headship role of the husband is modeled after Jesus Christ.

Let us make some important observations about a husband’s headship.

1. Headship is a divine assignment and does not indicate superior ability.

2. Headship is a divine authority with accountability back to God.

3. Headship is not dictatorship put servant leadership.

4. Headship is not to be used to bully or intimidate or force a wife’s submission

5. Headship is to be modeled after Christ’s headship over the church.

2. The Headship responsibilities of the husband are modeled after Jesus Christ.

a. Headship includes taking responsibility for the material provision for his wife and family.

• The husband should manage the household finances well.

• The husband should put the families material needs before his own.

• The husband should be a good manager of the family’s resources and abilities.

b. Headship includes taking responsibility for the physical protection of his wife and family.

• Husbands must be willing to risk their own lives for the safety and wellbeing of their wives and families.

c. Headship includes taking responsibility for the spiritual protection of his wife and children.

• He protects his wife from destructive relationships with unhealthy friends or family members. He intervenes on her behalf to shelter her from harmful influences.

d. Headship includes taking responsibility to provide spiritual enrichment to his wife and family.

TAKE IT TO HEART

Read Genesis 3:1-7

1. List the ways Adam failed to love and lead his wife when confronted by an evil threat.

2. What was the root cause of Adam’s failure in your opinion?

3. What threats are facing your marriage and family needing your action?

4. What would make your wife feel nourished and cherished by you?

Heartof Marriage Series

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MARRIAGE AS A PORTRAIT OF CHRIST AND HIS BRIDE THE CHURCH

Elements of Marriage in Biblical Times CHRIST AND HIS BRIDE
1. Son’s father chooses the bride. 1. “just as He chose us” Ephesians 1:4
2. Groom’s friend speaks for groom 2. (John the Baptist) “the friend of the bridegroom” John 3:29
3. A bride price is paid 3. “you have been bought with a price” I Corinthians 6:20
4. A betrothal period begins 4. “I go and prepare a place for you” John 14:3
5. The groom proceeds to meet the bride. 5. “I will come again and receive you to Myself” John 14:3
6. The bride is dressed in white. 6. “he who overcomes will be dressed in white garments” Revelation 3:5
7. The bride and groom meet in the company of their friends, musicians and singers. 7. “For the Lord Himself will descend from heaven with a shout, with the voice of the archangel and with the trumpet God.” I Thessalonians 4:16
8. The bride and groom enjoy a celebration meal with family and friends. 8. “Blessed are those who are invited to the marriage supper of the lamb.” Revelation 19:9
9. Gifts exchanged at wedding. 9. “If any man’s work remains he shall receive a reward.” Corinthians 3:14
10. The marriage consummated. 10. “come I will show you the bride the wife of the Lamb.” Revelation 21:9
11. The bride takes the husband’s name.

 11. “I will write upon him the name of My God.” Revelation 3:12
12. Married “till death do us part.” 12. “they shall reign forever and ever.” Revelation 22:5

Teachers: Dennis Eenigenburg, Jill Eenigenburg and Kit Marye

God’s wisdom

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Dear all,

Greetings to you in the most precious and glorious name of our resurrected Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. As we are learning Proverbs, let us continue to apply in our day today life.

Word:

Gracious words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones. Pro 16:24

Timely advice is lovely, like golden apples in a silver basket Pro 25: 11

Thought:

Words can be used as a tool or a weapon, for building relationships or breaking them. Build a bridge with every person you meet today with your kind words and show the love of Christ to them. God’s wisdom will make a difference through you in their lives.

Stand firm in Christ

The Journey Team

https://thejourneyinchrist.wordpress.com/about-us/