Category Archives: Christian life

Essence of true worship

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Dear all,

Be strong in the Lord and His mighty power. Ephesians 6: 10

Word:

9 After they had heard the king, they went on their way, and the star they had seen when it rose went ahead of them until it stopped over the place where the child was. 10 When they saw the star, they were overjoyed. 11 On coming to the house, they saw the child with his mother Mary, and they bowed down and worshiped him. Then they opened their treasures and presented him with gifts of gold, frankincense and myrrh. 12 And having been warned in a dream not to go back to Herod, they returned to their country by another route. Mat 2: 9-12

Thought:

The wise man brought gifts and worshiped Jesus for who he was. The essence of true worship – honoring Christ for who he is and being willing to give him what is valuable to you. Worship God because he is the perfect, just and almighty Creator of the Universe, worthy of the best you can give.

Stand firm in Christ

The Journey Team

thechapelbr.com/adult/counseling

https://thejourneyinchrist.wordpress.com/

God’s deep secrets

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May God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ give you grace and peace. Phil 1: 2

Word:

However, as it is written: “What no eye has seen, what no ear has heard, and what no human mind has conceived” the things God has prepared for those who love him these are the things God has revealed to us by his Spirit. The Spirit searches all things, even the deep things of God. 1 Cor 2: 9-10.

Thought:

“God’s deep secrets” refers to God’s unfathomable nature and his wonderful plan – Jesus’ death and resurrection – and to the promise of salvation, revealed only to those who believe that what God says is true.

Stand firm in Christ

The Journey Team

thechapelbr.com/adult/counseling

The Power of HolySpirit

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May God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ give you grace and peace. Philip 1: 2

Word:

The Spirit of God, who raised Jesus from the dead, lives in you. And just as God raised Christ Jesus from the dead, he will give life to your mortal bodies by this same Spirit living within you. Romans 8: 11

Thought:

The Holy Spirit is God’s promise of eternal life for those who believe in Him. The Spirit is in us now by faith, and by faith we are certain to live with Christ forever. He is the power source behind the spiritual rebirth of every Christian and He gives the power to live a victorious Christian life in this world.

Stand firm in Christ

The Journey Team

thechapelbr.com/adult/counseling

The role of the Holy Bible in Spiritual Transformation

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May God give you more and more grace and peace. 1 Peter 1:2

Word: “The role of the Holy Bible in Spiritual Transformation”

All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that the servant of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work. 2 Tim 3: 16 – 17

Thought:

God wants to show you what is true and equip you to live for Him. Read the word of God regularly to discover God’s truth and to become confident in Christ. When you have confidence in Christ you will see the world with God’s perspective.

Sin will keep you from God’s word – God’s word will keep you from sin

Stand firm in Christ

The Journey Team

thechapelbr.com/adult/counseling

Total Transformation in Christ

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May God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ give you grace and peace. 2 Thes 1:2

Word: “Total Transformation in Christ”

A Living Sacrifice:

Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship. Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will. Romans 12: 1 and 2

Fire tests the purity of silver and gold, but the Lord tests the heart. Proverbs 17:3

Thought:

God has good, pleasing and perfect plans for his children. He wants us to be transformed people with renewed minds, living to honor and obey him. Only when the Holy Spirit renews, reeducates and redirects our mind are we truly transformed.

Stand firm in Christ

The Journey Team

thechapelbr.com/adult/counseling

What are God’s Principles for Communication ?

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The Heart of Marriage

Dennis & Jill Eenigenburg

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9. What are God’s Principles for Communication?

I. Communication functions best in a positive atmosphere. Ephesians 5:33

A. When a husband rightly loves his wife he creates a positive atmosphere for communication.

B. When a wife is rightly respecting her husband she creates a positive atmosphere for communication.

It has been said that men and women breathe different types of oxygen. The wife is sustained by the oxygen of her husband’s love. Her husband is sustained by the oxygen of his wife’s respect. When these elements are lacking, great stress is felt in the marriage as each longs for that which nurtures them emotionally.

II. Communication functions best with the right message and the right methods. Ephesians 4:29

A. It is never appropriate to use words that are crude or hurtful.

B. It is always appropriate to carefully evaluate the need of the moment.

C. It is always appropriate to treat one another with grace.

D. It is always appropriate to speak the truth.

E. It is always appropriate to speak in love.

Before we begin the process toward a more godly style of communication we need to pull out the darts we have inflicted on each other over the years. Sometimes we also add poison to our verbal attacks. We say the words, “always” or “never.” We call each other derogatory names.

Each of us needs to ask our spouse from time to time if they have wounds that need to be resolved. We remove the painful darts when we ask forgiveness and stop repeating the offense. Once the dart is removed the healing can begin.

To prevent future verbal injury, we must speak the truth in love.

III. Communication works best with a Spirit-controlled tongue. (Speaking)

A. The flesh-controlled tongue is out of control James 1:26, 3:6, 3:8

B. The Spirit-controlled tongue is under God’s control. James 3:2, 3:10-11, 1:25

C. The Spirit-controlled tongue expresses itself with wisdom.

1. The Spirit-controlled tongue uses words wisely Colossians 3:16-17

2. The Spirit-controlled tongue measures timing wisely. Proverbs 15:23

3. The Spirit-controlled tongue uses silence wisely. Proverbs 10:19

4. The Spirit-controlled tongue always responds to insults wisely. 1 Peter 3:9

5. The Spirit-controlled tongue is used wisely as an instrument of praise to God. Colossians 3:16-17

6. The Spirit-controlled tongue wisely communicates love. Song of Solomon 4:10

Heart of Marriage Communication Tips:

Experts in communications say that a large percentage of communication is non-verbal. If you wish to communicate effectively consider the following non-verbal communication tips:

• Make sure the tone and volume of you voice is appropriate and pleasant.

• Make sure your body language in not threatening but relaxed.

• If possible make eye contact with your spouse.

• Chose a time and place that is appropriate for the topic discussed.

IV. Communication works best with Spirit-controlled ears. (Listening)

A. The flesh-controlled ears do not hear well. Hebrews 5:11, James 1:22-24

Heart of Marriage Tips:

Negative listening habits to be avoided:

• The habit of pretending to be listening while thinking of other things.

• The habit of interrupting or talking over the other person.

• The habit of refusing to listen to criticism or negative feedback.

• The habit of reacting without seeking to understand the others point of view.

B. Spirit-controlled ears hear well.

1. Spirit-controlled ears are responsive to the Word of God James 1:25

2. Spirit-controlled ears are responsive to one’s spouse. James 1:19

Heart of Marriage Listening Tips:

• Give your spouse your undivided attention.

• Communicate acceptance with friendly body language.

• Ask questions to make sure you understand what is being said.

• Don’t interrupt the other person.

• Make meaningful responses.

• Make eye contact.

V. Communication works best when we adjust for one another’s differences in communication styles.

Communication styles differ based on the temperaments and personalities of individuals. It is not unusual for people with different communication styles to be attracted to each other and marry. In a general sense, we observe some people to be task oriented and others people oriented. Some people live life at a fast pace and some at a slow pace. Some people find it difficult to express their emotions and some find it difficult to suppress their emotions. Some people are very talkative others are people of few words.

COMMUNICATION STYLES

<———————————————————————————————————–>

Fact-Oriented Emotion Oriented

Few Words Many Words

Closed Open

A. What are counter-productive ways to handle differences of communication styles?

1. Do not ridicule or criticize your spouse’s style of communication.

2. Do not try to force your mate to use your style of communication.

3. Do not react to the other person’s emotions with your facts.

4. Do not react to the other person’s facts with your emotions.

B. What are productive ways to handle differences of communication styles?

1. Affirm the strengths of one another’s communication styles.

2. In love seek to accommodate and adjust to each other’s styles.

3. Respond to emotional expression with an encouraging emotional response.

4. Respond to factual expression with positive factual response.

We need to apply love to our adjustment to each other’s communication styles. Philippians 2:4

How does the spouse of “many words” show love to the spouse of “few words?” Love is shown by intentionally coming to the point more directly and limiting the embellishment of the conversation.

How does the spouse of “few words” show love to the spouse of “many words”? Love is shown by intentionally adding more details to give the other person a fuller description of the setting and feeling related to the issue being presented.

C. How do gender differences affect communications in marriage?

1. Women generally have a high felt need for conversation.

This may not be true in your marriage but it is generally true in a vast majority of marriages. The implication is clear. Women usually have a higher felt need for conversation than do men.

2. Men generally do not have a high felt need for conversation.

“You husbands likewise live with your wives in an understanding way” I Peter 3:7

VI. Communications works best when it promotes transparency.

In the exclusive bond of marriage there exists the potential to enjoy the most transparent and intimate of relationships. The physical oneness in marriage is achieved through the joining of two bodies. Emotional and spiritual oneness is the joining of our souls. In order to experience this oneness we need to be more and more open and transparent in our conversations. Harsh, critical and demeaning conversation undermines trust and closes the heart in self-protection. Loving, kind, encouraging words build trust, and promote ever-increasing openness and oneness.

A. Marital transparency can mirror our transparency with God.

There is in the human heart a desire to be deeply known and still be deeply loved. It is yearning that comes from the ideal experience of the first couple that were fully known and loved by God and fully known and loved by each other.

B. Marital transparency increases oneness with one’s spouse.

1. Spiritual transparency is developed when couples converse with God together.

2. Emotional transparency is developed when couples earn trust and verbally open their hearts to each other.

• Verbal openness includes trusting each other enough to share your opinions.

• Verbal openness includes trusting each other enough to share your feelings.

• Verbal openness includes trusting each other enough to share your dreams and aspirations.

• Verbal openness includes trusting each other enough to share your failures and weaknesses.

Emotional transparency allows us to share our most intimate thoughts and feelings with someone who loves us unconditionally and will rejoice with us when we rejoice and will weep with us when we weep.

WARNING: Emotional transparency requires trust. If either betrays this trust, the door of openness and emotional intimacy will close.

What are some ways emotional transparency could be betrayed?

1)

2)

3)

Take it to Heart

List three strengths in the area of communications you enjoy with your spouse:

1.

2.

3.

List three weaknesses that need improvement in your communication with your spouse.

1.

2.

3.

Heart of Marriage – GOD’S PATTERN FOR WIVES – Week 5

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The Heart of Marriage

Dennis & Jill Eenigenburg

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5. WHAT IS GOD’S PATTERN FOR WIVES?

I. WIVES ARE TO FIRST LOVE JESUS CHRIST.

Jesus makes it clear that the way we express love for Him is by obeying His Word.

Obedience is the ultimate expression of worship because by it we make it clear that we trust Him and consider Him worthy to be Lord over our lives. To be a godly influence in her home a wife must first be a good follower of Christ.

A. Obeying Christ, wives seek to “to honor God’s Word” by example and exhortation.

Titus 2:3-5

1. Notice in these verses the kinds of behavior that “dishonor” the Word.

• “Malicious gossip”

• “enslaved to much wine”

2. Notice in these verses the kinds of behavior that “honor” God’s Word.

• “teaching what is good”

• “encouraging younger women to love their husbands”

• “encouraging younger women to be sensible”

• “encouraging younger women to be pure”

• “encouraging younger women to be workers at home”

• “encouraging younger women to be kind”

• “encouraging younger women to be subject to their own husbands”

B. Obeying Christ, wives cultivate their “hidden person of the heart.”

While man looks on the outward appearance, God looks at our hearts. When we focus only on the outside appearance we seek approval of the world’s values. What is precious in God’s eyes is not our physical beauty but our spiritual beauty.

Notice the qualities God is seeking.

• “a gentle spirit”

• “a quiet spirit”

• “submission to one’s husband” I Peter 3:1

• “chaste behavior” I Peter 3:2

• “respectful behavior” I Peter 3:2

C. Obeying Christ, wives seek to be “faithful in all things.”

1 Timothy 3:11

1. What does it mean to be “dignified?”

2. Why is the warning not to be a “gossip” repeated so often to women?

3. What does it mean to be “temperate”?

4. What does it mean to be “faithful”?

D. Obeying Christ, wives are modest in their looks and extravagant in their works.

1 Timothy 2:9-10

1. Wives are to be modest in their looks.

2. Wives are to be extravagant in their works.

E. Loving Christ, wives submit to God appointed authority.

1. Wives show their love for Christ by submitting to the teaching authority of the male leaders in the church. 1 Timothy 2:11-12

2. Wives show their love for Christ by reflecting the consequences of Eve’s disobedience. 1 Timothy 2:14

3. Wives show their love for Christ by training up their children to follow Him. 1 Timothy 2:15

II. Wives are to love their husbands.

Titus 2:4

A. Wives love their husbands by voluntarily submitting to their headship in the marriage and family.

1. God has designated the husband as the leader in the marriage relationship.

2. God calls wives to yield to the husband’s leadership because he represents Christ’s authority in the marriage.

3. The wife’s submission mirrors the submission of Christ’s bride, the church.

B. Wives love their husbands by showing them respect.

Ephesians 5:33

Question: What communicates “disrespect” to your husband?

1.

2.

3.

Question: What communicates “respect” to your husband?

1.

2.

3.

C. Wives love their husbands by being responsive to their needs.

1. The wife responds to her husband’s need for a co-worshipper.

2. The wife responds to her husband’s need for a co-worker.

3. The wife responds to her husband’s need for companionship.

4. The wife responds to her husband’s need for sexual intimacy.

God has designed marriage as a “one flesh” relationship. One of the ways husbands and wives love each other is by giving sexual pleasure to each other. Paul says that when we meet one another’s sexual needs in marriage it lessens temptation to immoral behavior.

In Willard Harley’s research he found the following needs among the husbands.

1. Sexual fulfillment

2. Respect

3. Household Manager

It is interesting that the Bible encourages wives to “respect” their husbands and be “workers” in the home.

D. Wives love their husbands by being committed to the wellbeing of the family.

Proverbs 31:10-31

TAKE IT TO HEART: PART I

1. Read through this passage aloud as a group.

2. Individually read through the passage underlining every character quality of this woman.

3. Individually read through the passage and circle each activity performed by this woman.

4. Individually read through the passage and list 5 qualities or activities you would like to reflect in your care for your family.

1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

TAKE IT TO HEART: PART II

What are your husband’s top 3-5 top needs that you could lovingly meet?

1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

For your information Willard Harley found the following needs among the wives.

1. Affection – someone who cared how they felt.

2. Conversation – someone who would talk to them on a meaningful level of openness.

3. Financial stability – someone who was a good money manager.

4. Trustworthiness – Someone who was truthful and faithful.

5. Help with the children – someone who was an active co-parent.

What are your top 3-5 needs you would like your husband to fulfill?

1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

1. Schedule a time with your spouse to discuss your top felt needs.

2. Take turns asking each other how you could best meet each other’s needs.

3. Ask for specific ways you could communicate love more effectively.

4. Be willing to confess shortcomings and grant one another forgiveness.

5. Choose one or two goals related to meeting your mate’s needs.

6. Pray together for the power of the Holy Spirit to be a better lover.

E. A wife loves her husband by growing in the fruit of the Spirit.

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law. Now those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. Galatians 5:22-24

Growth Project

Memory Verses: 1Timothy 4:7-8

Using Scripture to Change My Life

This study is more important than anything we have done up to this point. Here you will be allowing God’s Word to bring specific change into your life. Remember, change—real spiritual change—is a work of God’s Spirit. Don’t ever think you can change in your own strength. This growth project is not magic, but it can help you use God’s Word to guide your attitude and behavior in relationship to God and your wife.

Here’s what you do.

Stage No. 1. —

Dismantling. “Lay aside the old self” (Ephesians 4:22)

a. Write out any wrong attitude or behavior in relation to your wife or others that you see in your life.

b. Think about and write down the negative consequences of these wrong attitudes or actions.

Stage No. 2 —

Rebuilding. “Be renewed in the spirit of your mind” (Ephesians 4:23)

a. Begin memorizing the verses given on the following pages.

b. Memorize at least one per week until eight or nine are memorized.

c. As you memorize, write down ways that the verse applies to you.

d. Write down any insights or convictions you have gained through meditating on these verses.

Stage No. 3 —

Exercising. “And put on the new self” (Ephesians 4:24)

a. After four to six weeks of memorizing, begin exercising your convictions by designing a project.

b. Write out specific ways that you desire to obey Scripture. Example: Pray every day for my wife and her needs.

c. Evaluate at the end of the time period or project and…

• do it again.

• Revise it.

• thank God for the victory; or

• do another project.

Stage No. 4 —

Defeating. “And not give the devil an opportunity” (Ephesians 4:27)

a. Satan will redouble his effort to tempt you and discourage you.

b. When he tempts you, quote the Scripture to him as a sword. (Matthew 4:1-11 and Ephesians 6:17)

Stage No. 5 —

Evaluating.

Record your experience and growth.

Four growth projects per year is a reasonable challenge.

TAKE IT TO HEART

Growth Project Verses

The following character traits and verses are only suggestions for you. For each additional character trait, you can easily complete your own by taking a topic and listing appropriate verses.

Kindness

Luke 10:34-35 1 John 3:16-18 Proverbs 14:21 Genesis 50:19-21

Acts 20:35b Proverbs 15:1 Leviticus 19:33-34 Ephesians 4:31-32

Luke 6:31 Matthew 25:35-36

Humility

Philippians 2:3-4 Romans 12:10 Matthew 23:11-12 Galatians 6:3

Luke 22:26 Isaiah 57:15 James 4:6b, 10 Romans 12:16 2

Corinthians 10:12 Romans 12:3a

Teachability

Psalm 143:10 Psalm 25:56 Psalm 78:7-8 Proverbs 29:1

Daniel 1:8 Proverbs 18:15 Proverbs 25:12 Jeremiah 9:23-24a

Psalm 32:9 Proverbs 2:1-10

Forgiveness

Ephesians 1:7 Micah 7:18-19 Luke 6:37 Luke 17:4

Romans 12:17-19 1 Peter 2:23 Luke 11:4a Mark 11:25

1 Peter 3:9a 1 Peter 3:8

Obedience

Luke 2:51a-52 Romans 13:1a Titus 3:1a, 2b 1 Samuel 16:7b

Deuteronomy 10:12 Matthew 6:24 Joshua 24:15 1 Samuel 12:20

Judges 16:16-17

Discernment

Proverbs 2:1-6 Hebrews 5:14 Colossians 4:5-6 Ecclesiastes 5:2

Proverbs 8:12-13 Proverbs 22:3 Proverbs 14:16 Proverbs 22:3

Proverbs 14:15 Proverbs 26:11

Purity

2 Timothy 2:22 Psalm 101:3-4 1 Thessalonians 4:3-4 Romans 6:12-13a

Psalm 51:10 1 Timothy 1:5 Ephesians 5:1-4 1 Corinthians 6:9b, 12

1 Corinthians 6:18

Responsibility

John 10:11, 14 Romans 5:1-2 Genesis 43:9 Genesis 44:33-34

Joshua 24:15 Hebrews 11:24-25 1 Peter 4:10 Luke 17:10

Matthew 7:26 Luke 12:47

Courage

Daniel 3:16-17 1 Thessalonians 2:2 Joshua 1:9 Psalm 91:5-6

Acts 20:22-24 Deuteronomy 31:6 Daniel 6:5-11 Matthew 14:29b-31

Mark 4:37-40

Servanthood

Romans 14:21 1 Corinthians 10:24 Philippians 2:3-4 1 Corinthians 10:24

Matthew 23:11-12 Matthew 20:26-28 Mark 10:42-45 1 Corinthians 9:19

Matthew 25:42-43a Proverbs 11:26

Contentment

Lamentations 3:25-26 Psalm 27:13-14 Psalm 13:1-2 Psalm 37:4-5

Philippians 4:11-13 2 Corinthians 9:8 2 Corinthians 12:9-10 Psalm 37:7

1 Timothy 6:9

Endurance

Revelation 14:12 Daniel 3:28 James 1:12 1 Peter 2:19-20

Matthew 24:1 Mark 13:13 Galatians 6:9 Hebrews 12:1

1 Corinthians 10:13 Hebrews 10:36, 38-39

Is Jesus God?

Colossians 1:15, 16 Colossians 1:17 John 1:1-3 1 Peter 2:22-25

Mark 1:22 1 Timothy 3:16 Matthew 3:13-17

If You Feel Worried

Proverbs 3:4-6 Psalm 55:17-19, 22 Proverbs 20:24 Psalm 124:8

Psalm 125:1-2 Matthew 6:25-34 Psalm 18:2-3

If You Feel Discouraged

Psalm 42:1-11 Psalm 130:1-7 Psalm 31:2-12, 19-21 Jeremiah 20:11-18

Psalm 102:1-7 1 Peter 5:7-11 Psalm 43:1-3 Ephesians 1:8

How Much Does God Love Us?

John 3:16 Romans 3:23 Romans 8:35-39 1 Corinthians 2:9

Ephesians 1:4-5 Ephesians 3:17-19 John 15:9-13 1 John 3:1

Heart of Marriage – Week 4

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The Heart of Marriage

Dennis & Jill Eenigenburg

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4. WHO IS GOD’S POWER FOR MARRIAGE?

In many cultures, marriage is an endangered institution. In the United States for example, it is estimated that of all the marriages taking place in 2012 at least 50% will end in divorce. Also in the States, fewer couples are getting married, opting instead for informal cohabitation. In some segments of American society, close to 70% of children are born out of wedlock. Of those who are married, many say they are unhappy or are just remaining together for cultural, religious or economic reasons. Why do people find marriage to be such a difficult living arrangement? How did what God intended as a gift and blessing, become for too many, an unwanted burden? For the answer, one needs to revisit the garden in which the first marriage took place.

I. IN THE BEGINNING MARRIAGE WAS IDEAL:

ADAM AND EVE REFLECTED THE PERFECT PORTRAIT OF MARRIAGE

A. IN THE BEGINNING ADAM AND EVE REFLECTED GOD’S IMAGE PERFECTLY

Adam and Eve had a perfect marriage because they were morally perfect. They always loved each other consistently; they always served each other sacrificially. They always spoke words of encouragement and good. They enjoyed perfect oneness with each other and perfect fellowship with God.

B. IN THE BEGINNING ADAM AND EVE OBEYED GOD’S WILL PERFECTLY

Adam and Eve were given responsibilities to manage and maximize their resources and potential. They were to maximize their reproductive potential by filling the earth with their offspring. They were to manage the natural resources such as fish and animals. To “subdue the animals” may have referred to domesticating them for work. Thus they would maximize their productivity. The cultivation of the garden indicates the garden needed tending and that Adam and Eve could improve its potential by caring for its plants. This assignment received no negative response from Adam and Eve and it was all pronounced, “very good.”

C. IN THE BEGINNING ADAM RECEIVED EVE ENTHUSIASTICALLY

The LORD God fashioned into a woman the rib, which He had taken from the man, and brought her to the man. The man said, “This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh; She shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.” Genesis 2:22-23

II. MARRIAGE BECAME AN ORDEAL: ADAM AND EVE’S DISOBEDIENCE DISTORTED THE PORTRAIT OF MARRIAGE

A. God established a test of Adam and Eve’s loyalty and submission to Him

• The test was a prohibition against eating from the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil.

• The test was set in the midst of freedom to enjoy the fruit of all the other trees.

• The test reminded Adam and Eve that they were under the authority of their Creator.

• The test reminded Adam and Eve that God was their source of Life and Blessing.

• The test would result in death, if failed.

B. God’s test of Adam and Eve’s loyalty was failed.

Now the serpent was more crafty than any beast of the field, which the LORD God had made. And he said to the woman, “Indeed, has God said, ‘You shall not eat from any tree of the garden’?” The woman said to the serpent, “From the fruit of the trees of the garden we may eat; but from the fruit of the tree which is in the middle of the garden, God has said, you shall not eat from it or touch it, or you will die.” The serpent said to the woman, “You surely will not die! For God knows that in the day you eat from it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.” When the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was a delight to the eyes, and that the tree was desirable to make one wise, she took from its fruit and ate; and she gave also to her husband with her, and he ate. Genesis 3:1-6

C. God’s warning of “death” took place.

The consequence of Adam and Eve’s disobedience was “death.”

The definition of “death” is separation from life. After eating the forbidden fruit death took place. Adam and Eve were immediately separated from the life God has given them. Adam and Eve were immediately separated from the life of personal holiness. They were immediately separated from the life of perfect fellowship with God. Adam and Eve were immediately separated from the life of perfect marital oneness. Adam and Eve were immediately separated from the life of eternal existence on the earth as God’s overseers.

D. The “death” caused by disobedience produced devastating consequences.

• SHAME

Adam and Eve were ashamed before each other.

Adam and Eve were ashamed before their Creator.

• BLAME

Adam blamed the woman God had given him.

Eve blamed the serpent God had created.

• PAIN

Eve would experience pain when she gave birth to children.

Adam and Eve would experience pain in their marriage.

Adam would experience pain in his labors for food.

Adam and Eve would experience the pain of physical death.

Adam and Eve would experience pain in their parenting.

Summary: “the wage of sin is death.”

III. THROUGH FAITH IN JESUS CHRIST MARRIAGE CAN BECOME A NEW DEAL: THE PORTRAIT OF MARRIAGE CAN BE RESTORED THROUGH FAITH IN JESUS CHRIST AND THE POWER OF THE HOLY SPIRIT

A. GOD PREDICTED ONE WHO WOULD REVERSE THE CURSE OF SIN ON MANKIND

Genesis 3:14-15

B. GOD PROVIDED THE ONE WHO WOULD REVERSE THE CURSE OF SIN

Matthew 1:20-23

Romans 3:21-26

C. GOD PROMISES TO REVERSE THE CURSE FOR ALL WHO PUT THEIR FAITH IN JESUS CHRIST.

John 3:16

1. THROUGH JESUS CHRIST WE CAN EXPERIENCE FREEDOM FROM SIN’S PENALTY.

Romans 8:1-2

2. THROUGH JESUS CHRIST WE CAN EXPERIENCE FREEMDOM FROM SIN’S POWER.

Romans 6:12-13

3. THROUGH JESUS CHRIST WE WILL EXPERIENCE FREEDOM FROM SIN’S PRESENCE.

John 14:2-3

IV. GOD’S NEW DEAL FOR US BEGINS WITH OUR PERSONAL REQUEST FOR FORGIVENESS BY FAITH

A. Placing one’s faith in Jesus Christ is a personal choice

John 1:12-13

B. Placing one’s faith in Jesus Christ shows trust in His work not our works.

Ephesians 2:8-9

C. Placing one’s faith in Jesus Christ acknowledges He is the only way of salvation.

Romans 6:23

John 14:6

D. Placing one’s faith in Jesus Christ means you accept the Gospel as true.

I Corinthians 15:1-4

TAKING IT TO HEART:

If you have never accepted Jesus Christ as your Savior and would like to ask Him to forgive you and grant you new life you can do it now through a simple prayer of faith.

“Lord Jesus, I thank you for dying on the cross in my place. I confess that I am a sinner unworthy of your grace. I believe that you paid for my sins through your death. I believe that you can grant me forgiveness and new life by the power of your resurrection. Lord Jesus, be merciful to me a sinner and forgive me of my offenses against you. Lord, grant me your new everlasting life by the indwelling of your Holy Spirit Thank you, Jesus. Amen.

As a child of God we need spiritual food and exercise to be healthy. God’s word is our food and God’s work is our exercise. In the book of James it says, “Faith without works is dead.” So we need to feed on God’s word and obey what it says. As we trust and obey we will grow into the likeness of Jesus Christ. As we grow closer to Christ’s likeness we will see growth in our marital oneness as well. The pure love of God described in I Corinthians 13 is now within our Spirit filled ability to live out. At this point consider the following simple Bible study method for your daily feeding on God’s Word.

V. GOD’S NEW DEAL IS EMPOWERED BY OUR PERSONAL SUBMISSION TO THE INDWELLING HOLY SPIRIT

A. The Holy Spirit is a member of the Godhead along with the Father and the Son.

B. The Holy Spirit was sent by Jesus to empower our new life in Christ. The Holy Spirit ministers to believers on earth until they are reunited with Christ in heaven.

*He is called a “helper.”

*His is called “the Spirit of truth.”

*He is with the believer forever.

*He is indwelling every believer.

C. The Holy Spirit is our Source of Power unleashed through our obedience. Jesus promised to send His disciples One who would give them the power to do His will and work on earth.

D. The Holy Spirit’s power is neglected when we disobey.

1. The Holy Spirit is “grieved” by disobedience.

2. The Holy Spirit is “quenched” by disobedience.

3. The Holy Spirit is unleashed by willful submission.

The filling of the Holy Spirit is contrast to the drunkenness of wine. When a person is drunk he is under the influence of that drink. The world offers many drinks, drugs, addictions and influences to which we are tempted to yield for temporary pleasure. All of the world’s offerings ultimately destroy our bodies, our morals and our relationships. The only influence we can trust to have control over us is the Holy Spirit. He is perfect and brings only good things to those who will trust Him with their daily decisions and behavior.

F. The Holy Spirit is our Source of the behavior and attitudes that exhibits Christ’s likeness.

Galatians 5:16

Galatians 5:22-26

Summary:

GOD’S NEW DEAL ENABLES US TO FUFILL HIS PURPOSES IN OUR MARRIAGES

The Holy Spirit enables us to Mirror God’s image

The Holy Spirit enables us to Mutually complete each other

The Holy Spirit enables us to Multiply a Godly legacy

Heart of Marriage – Week 1

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 The Heart of Marriage

Dennis & Jill Eenigenburg

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1. WHAT IS GOD’S PLAN FOR MARRIAGE?

God’s plan for marriage is introduced in Genesis 2:22-25.

After God created Eve, he brought her to Adam. Adam enthusiastically receives Eve as a gift from God. Her Hebrew name is Isha (woman) which is simply the feminization of his name Ish (man). Adam sees his own flesh and bones in her. By design God made Eve as a “helper” suitable to him. (Genesis 2:20). The word helper “Ezer” is sometimes viewed as an inferior name. Nothing could be further from the truth.

The word “Ezer” is used of God Himself, “a help in time of need.” The sense is that Eve was to be the one to help Adam obey the creator. She would be a co-worshiper, a co-parent, a companion and co-worker under God’s authority.

At this point, the author of Genesis under the inspiration of the Holy Spirit inserts a commentary. It is because of this purposeful creation of the man and woman that God also defines a special relationship for them called marriage.

God’s Plan for Marriage Includes Three Distinct Aspects

I. “LEAVE” – A MAN SHALL ESTABLISH INDEPENDENCE FROM HIS OWN PARENTS

“And man shall leave his father and mother.”

A. What it does not mean to leave father and mother?

“To leave” does not mean to dishonor one’s parents.

“To leave” does not mean to neglect your parents.

B. What it does mean to leave father and mother:

1. It means to establish financial independence from one’s parents.

2. It means to establish emotional independence from one’s parents.

3. It means to establish authoritative independence from one’s parents.

Take It to Heart

1. Do you agree with the previous examples about “leaving?”

2. How should Biblical “leaving” express itself in your culture?

3. Have you “left” your parents in the Biblical sense?

When couples fail to establish healthy independence from their parents, there are negative consequences on their marriage. A failure to leave undermines the husband’s headship in marriage and divides the loyalty of the wife. If you have failed to establish healthy separation from your parents, you can do it in the spirit of “honor” and love.

Summary: Remember, a healthy “leaving” must precede a healthy “cleaving.”

II. CLEAVE – A MAN SHALL FORM A LIFELONG BOND WITH HIS WIFE

“Cleave to his wife…”

The word for cleave is used elsewhere in the Bible to describe a tight bond. It is used for example to describe a belt tightly cinched around one’s waist.

A. “Cleaving” is described as “what therefore God formed together.” Not only is there an element of human commitment but a divine sealing of husband and wife in marital union.

B. “Let no man separate” indicates God intends marriage to be a permanent relationship.

Many in the days of Jesus view marriage as a temporary relationship. If a man was displeased with his wife for any cause he would simply say, “I divorce you, I divorce you, I divorce you and the marriage was over. Jesus rebukes that view.

Other Scriptures that support God’s plan for permanence in marriage:

Malachi 2:13

Matthew 5:31-32

Matthew 19:7-10

Take It to Heart

In Matthew 5 and 19, Jesus uses the “except” in regard to the permanence of marriage. In Matthew 5:32, he says, “Except for the reason of un-chastity” and in Matthew 19 He says, “except for immorality.”

1. What do you think about these exceptions?

2. Do you think they require divorce? Why?

3. Do you think they allow for divorce? Why?

4. Do you think these offenses can be forgiven and marriages continued? Why?

5. Do you believe there are other biblical grounds for divorce? What are they?

Summary: The word “cleave” indicates that God’s plan for marriage is one man and woman committed to a lifelong marital relationship.

III. ONE FLESH – THE MAN AND HIS WIFE ARE TO EXPERIENCE A ONE FLESH RELATIONSHIP THROUGH SEXUAL INTIMACY

The “one flesh” relationship is restricted to the man and woman bond in the covenant of marriage.

This exclusive sexual relationship is further demonstrated by the illicit expressions of sexual activity prohibited in Scripture.

The word for immorality PORNEIA refers to every kind of prohibited sexual relations.

1. Acts that produce illegitimate children (John 8:19, 41)

2. Acts of homosexuality (Romans 1:29)

3. Acts of incest (1 Corinthians 5:1, Leviticus 18:6-18)

4. Acts of fornication (1 Thessalonians 4:3-8)

5. Acts of sexual immorality associated with pagan worship (Revelation 2:20-21)

6. Sexual intercourse with a prostitute (1 Corinthians 6:15-16)

7. Bestiality is prohibited. Leviticus 18:23

8. You shall not commit adultery. Deuteronomy 5:18; Leviticus 1, Leviticus 20:10

9. You shall not look upon a woman to lust after her. Matthew 5:27-28

Summary: God’s design is for the “one flesh” relationship to be exclusive for the man and woman in a marriage relationship.

Take It to Heart

1. How important is sexual purity before marriage? Why?

2. How would you demonstrate this from Scripture?

3. How important is fidelity in marriage? Why?

4. What negative consequences are avoided by obeying these guidelines?

5. What positives are gained by obeying God’s will in our sexual lives?

Heartof Marriage Series

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MARRIAGE AS A PORTRAIT OF CHRIST AND HIS BRIDE THE CHURCH

Elements of Marriage in Biblical Times CHRIST AND HIS BRIDE
1. Son’s father chooses the bride. 1. “just as He chose us” Ephesians 1:4
2. Groom’s friend speaks for groom 2. (John the Baptist) “the friend of the bridegroom” John 3:29
3. A bride price is paid 3. “you have been bought with a price” I Corinthians 6:20
4. A betrothal period begins 4. “I go and prepare a place for you” John 14:3
5. The groom proceeds to meet the bride. 5. “I will come again and receive you to Myself” John 14:3
6. The bride is dressed in white. 6. “he who overcomes will be dressed in white garments” Revelation 3:5
7. The bride and groom meet in the company of their friends, musicians and singers. 7. “For the Lord Himself will descend from heaven with a shout, with the voice of the archangel and with the trumpet God.” I Thessalonians 4:16
8. The bride and groom enjoy a celebration meal with family and friends. 8. “Blessed are those who are invited to the marriage supper of the lamb.” Revelation 19:9
9. Gifts exchanged at wedding. 9. “If any man’s work remains he shall receive a reward.” Corinthians 3:14
10. The marriage consummated. 10. “come I will show you the bride the wife of the Lamb.” Revelation 21:9
11. The bride takes the husband’s name.

 11. “I will write upon him the name of My God.” Revelation 3:12
12. Married “till death do us part.” 12. “they shall reign forever and ever.” Revelation 22:5

Teachers: Dennis Eenigenburg, Jill Eenigenburg and Kit Marye